It Makes A Crunchy Noise E​.​P.

by Laura Imbruglia

One fine and rare yellow Monday, I went out walking Came across a black prince and we started talking He was so full of sap, he was an incredible boaster Promised me he could find me a green grocer Yet I received a boring brown, and it's getting me down So when I die, I'm coming back as a cicada I want to wake you in the morning when you're snoring Your eyes are large and you remind me of my father No, not a christmas beetle, reincarnate me as a cicada If I get stuck, would you help me come out of my shell or watch me eaten alive by ants? Well you can go to hell! Sure you can play with my placenta shell - it makes a crunchy noise! But just make sure you don't crunch it while I'm still in it, boys Because you'll break my exeskeleton parts but worst of all, you'll break my insect heart Still when I die, I'll come back as a cicada Please don't rip off my wings or I'll have to cry out of my third eye Would insect arms break if I attempt to play guitar-a? Although I'm fond of preying mantises, I'd rather be a cicada For you, I would live underground for 17 years, encased in a shell Eventually to climb above to see glorious light for merely 7 days before death...could be less if I'm consumed first by a mean and hungry bird.
Chatroom boy, I want to meet you - your image won't download quite Would you take me out some place where we could eat food? It's been months since I've been outside. You send my emoticons crazy, and now I'm viewing Windows for the future. The screen is frozen and my eyes are hazy, I'm such a cyber loser. Email lover, don't stray from my site Be the server to my heart, let's make megabytes of love Yahoo! We're compatible I connected on the very first dial tone with you. It's not easy to get me lol but you can even get me lmao Who needs pig latin when we speak net jargon so well? I'm ready, double click on "go". Email love, I love you. But when we meet in person and we minus the picture distortion, Will you like all my three dimensions? Or your virus alert be saying "caution"? Email lover, don't stray from my site Be the server to my heart, let's make megabytes of love Yahoo! We're compatible I connected on the very first dial tone with you. I don't ever want to see your beautiful font telling me that you only want us to be msn buddies.
Mr Clown 03:20
Are invisible strings pulling at the sides of my mouth, or am I just happy to see you? The answer I think is quite clear - you know very well I know no puppeteers. You probably think that I never frown. I'm only this happy when you're around, so stay by my side til the end of the tides, Mr Clown. Put a smile on my dial, I know it's all worthwhile because you make me smile. I am no longer afraid of sudden changes in the wind - from the introductory moment, my lower face has been frozen into a permanent grin. And the frowns keep turning upside down every time I see you, clown. My feet won't even touch the ground, yet there's no tightrope to be found. Yes it's been a while since the circus made me smile. But I won the dimple crown, how does it feel to feel down today? I love you clown, so stick around til they put me in the ground.
I like you, but you don't like me at all when we touch. Sorry, but I'm not that experienced. I didn't read the karma sutra books. Give me a chance, we could watch reruns of "Sex/Life", hosted by Tottie Goldsmith. I know you know the show I'm talking about, we all watched it, but no one will openly admit it. And I'm so sad, because at intimacy I'm bad. Yeah, I'm a flop in the sack! I put the crap in crappy, the shit in shitty, the really bad in really bad! I'm a flop in the sack and I'm sad. You should try to appreciate my other qualities - I make a really good chocolate cake... And I read bus timetables great. It's not my fault that I lay still like a beached whale - you see it's like I'm blind and sex books in braille. I guess what I'm trying to say is - I just don't get the sex thing - it's not my bag, but I promise when we're done I'll still smoke a fag. But I don't know why, and I think I'm gonna cry cos I'm a flop in the sack! I put the dag in daggy, the stink in the stinky, the backward in backwards! I'm a flop in the sack... And I'm sad cos I'm bad Yeah I'm sad, I said because I'm really bad in bad - SING IT! "sad, she said because she's really bad in bed - she said!" I put the crap in crappy, the stink in the stinky, the dag in daggy, the shit in shitty! I'm a flop in the sack and I'm sad.
So you were walking down this street a few steps in front of me, but I didn't recognise your hairline. You've got a lovely nape, but I knew you in the undercut days. Middle-parted and long on top, lift it up - discover close crop. I loved that look, and just about one look was all it took. In Geography, you said to me - "Can I please borrow your glue stick?" So I handed you my stick of glue and decided that you were my pick of the boys in year 7. You came first out of about 111. Oh first boyfriend, Ben Castelli Oh first boyfriend, we ate jelly iceblocks every lunch and recess. Must've known we wouldn't be able to find them now, we ate them in such excess. Ours was a relationship of convenience - you were left-handed, I was right. We shared all the same classes - and I always sat on your right side. So if the teacher would dictate, we could write but nothing in that class could stop us from holding hands so tight. But we broke up after 5 long weeks and I was devastated for the longest time. Cos you moved on, but I still pined. And you changed schools halfway through year 9. Oh first boyfriend, Ben Castelli Oh first boyfriend, "what the hell's he doing now?" - I used to ask myself, but now I won't. Cos now I know you're a parking policeman, you told me so. Thanks for rubbing off that chalk, I won't double-park again. Guess I'll see you at a reunion sometime, Ben.
I'll tell you about these 2 guys I work with, they are vegans. They're also hardcore punks; a rare combination. Although they're far from average, their names are quite run-of-the-mill They're Aaron and Luke, but they'd prefer their names to be Pro-Animal Lib and Prejudice-Free. They're the best of friends but I am sure they're also gay lovers, If they are I say good for them because they really compliment each other, Like black and white or yin and yang, Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten, Soy sauce and tofu, tahini and cauliflower- they're punk rock pals. Kindred souls who don't eat cows! (or related cow by-products). The lack of iron in their diet takes away their tan, they always have interesting t-shirt slogans and I love them. Yes I love them! I love my vegan punk friends, they're anarchists who like to eat lettuce, They don't follow any mainstream trends, and please dear God don't offer them McDonalds... unless you want a kick in the head. They'll tell you Ronald's the reason Che Guevara's dead. And even though they're aethiests, major corporations can rot in hell. Luke is a straight-edge punk which means he doesn't do drugs, or smoke or drink or anything fun. But he's not a Christian (thank God) so he can have all the sex that he damn wants, with lots of different people, yeah he's a slut but he has got a "primary partner" too. That was a quote. And as for Aaron, well he's the most devoted vegan I've ever seen, He won't even eat honey 'cause the bees make it for their baby bees and not us. He's really sweet but I just wish he'd wear deodorant sometimes, But he's too scared because the companies could be lying when they say they don't test on animals. But that's ok, their intentions are good - they recycle paper to save the wood. And I love them, yes I love them! I love my vegan punk friends, they're anarchists who like to eat lettuce, They don't follow any mainstream trends, whatever you do, don't criticise homeless people to them... unless you want to hear a punk rendition of "It's Another Day In Paradise" by Phil Collins. The punk version doesn't sound very nice. They can't sing but they're trying. I heard that song when I was 6 and that was quite suffice... But I love them all the same! Soy chocolate tastes nicer than it sounds. I tried it once, it's weird, I lost 3 pounds. I love the way the guys make me feel empowered, You don't call it working, call it selling your hours of life... I love my vegan punk friends but they quit work today Because they don't want to be retail store whores, Employment doesn't suit the punk rock cause. Anarchists and lettuce, 2 punks I will miss.


released September 1, 2003

Produced by Tim Oxley at Dreamlife Studios.
Backing Vocals by Tim Oxley and Jodi Phillis.
Bass by Ray Ahn.

Cover art by Ray Ahn.


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Laura Imbruglia Melbourne, Australia

Australian songwriter Laura Imbruglia has been releasing records since the early noughties, covering a range of genres from folk to throat-tearing punk, dark country, psychedelic rock and everything in between.

Laura’s fourth album “Scared Of You” (produced by Nick Huggins) was released 29 March 2019.
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