Magical Washing Machine Single

by Laura Imbruglia

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Had a dream last night, woke in a terrible fright. The dream wasn’t what scared me; it was the fact that I woke and it wasn’t a reality. Well in this dream, I had a magic washing machine; It doubled as a jukebox; I danced around my house lots. Instead of swishy noises I could listen to the Pet Shop Boys and the whites they just got whiter in the musical enlightener! So I want a magical washing machine that doubles as a jukebox! Where’s my magical washing machine? It doubled as a jukebox! In my dream I had a lot more friends, but none of them were genuine. They just brought around their dirty socks and made me wash them in my jukebox. Well, this jukebox had every song you could wanna hear and then some… 30 Odd Foot Of Grunt. But I want a magical washing machine if it doubles as a jukebox! I had a magical washing machine, It doubled as a jukebox! Oh! What did I drink last night? Oh! What did I smoke last night? It messed with my head as I slept in my bed. Oh, What did I drop last night? Oh, What did I shoot up last night? I don’t remember, but it sure ruined my life. ‘Cause now I want a magical washing machine that doubles as a jukebox! There’s no such thing as a washing machine that doubles as a jukebox. I’ve had the most of the trading post and I’ve trawled my way through Ebay, And I found nothing even similar like a laundromat with a DJ. There’s no DJ. I guess it’s not my day. My life’s in disarray…..NO! There goes my dream of a magical washing machine.
We’re all of us just pigeons- we don’t know what you’ve got but we want it NOW! And I do not want to share it; I don’t think I could bear it, I NEED A PIECE FOR ME WITH UTMOST EXCLUSIVITY!!!!!…. please. It’s carbon copy watered down and it’s invading all the towns, Riding in on bandwagon to ready, waiting crowds. Are the old rockers rolling over in their graves? It’s a new age but there’s no sign of a new sound! There’s no new plans for the world’s rock bands, Fans don’t listen any more; they just read their mag and clap their hands! I keep going further back to hear something that’s un-rehashed, I want to be inspired! If they’ve created everything you’re ever going to, You may as well set yourself on fire! The children you’re raising are not your own, You’re brazenly stealing them from their happy homes. I see it from the glass house and I wanna throw stones! I WANNA THROW STONES! There’s always more words to add to the pile I’m sure I’ll regret. So I lay in this bed I made from words I said.
I’m aware you’re much more wiser, thank you Mr. Patroniser. Hows about you shut your mouth? Or fill it to the brim with candy, you know it makes life real dandy. You’ve gotta loosen up somehow. And you might just find you’ve been using your mind too much. Maybe you should try the dumber touch. The purpose of the plaster fun house is defeated when you paint a brown cow. I dare you to paint Daisy blue. And then we’ll use the glitter gloss, if it gets on you it’ll come out in the wash. So don’t give me that attitude! Stop using your intelligence as a crutch, You know the fun in life is found in the dumber touch. You won’t smile ‘til you utilise the dumber touch. Touch.
Two Cockatoos met in an aviary, One said to the other- “I really like your hair, do you like me?” The other replied- “It’s actually called a crest, can’t you even get a simple pick-up line right?” And birds can be just like humans, you know. I met a bird that reminded me of you… I told him I loved him so much I’d walk a million kilometres just to feel the touch of his wings. But what he said to me next was not exactly the desired response. He said- “Why don’t you pronounce it kilometres? It sounds better pronounced kilometres! You pronounced it kil-oh-metres. I prefer kilometres”. Mr. Birdy asked me the time, I answered- “Quarter To Nine”. He replied- “That’s a digital watch, why didn’t you say 8.45?” And then I poured him a glass of water, He said- “I don’t drink tap water, Imagine all the rust that touched before it even reached the glass. You can shove it up your ass!” I was disgusted. My taps aren’t rusted! And I decided to rip off his little beak, It’s now become my favourite guitar pick… I gave him a formal funeral and all his family came along. To explain the way he died I sang them this very song. They pecked me quite a lot, but we ended up agreeing- He was the result of unsuccessful bird inbreeding. I killed a squawker with obsessive compulsive disorder. I killed a squawker with obsessive compulsive disorder. The same disease as Jack Nicholson’s character in “As Good As It Gets”.


"My Dream Of A Magical Washing Machine/I Wanna Throw Stones" double A-side single.

Features the rhythm section from Big Heavy Stuff (Nick Kennedy- drums and Eliot Fish- bass) on the 2 A-Sides, plus guest appearances by Dave Rennick, Aaron Bilbija and Justin Cetinich.

Also includes two home demos of otherwise unreleased songs.

Cover art by Geoff Towner.


released November 1, 2005


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Laura Imbruglia Melbourne, Australia

Australian songwriter Laura Imbruglia has been releasing records since the early noughties, covering a range of genres from folk to throat-tearing punk, dark country, psychedelic rock and everything in between.

Laura’s fourth album “Scared Of You” (produced by Nick Huggins) was released 29 March 2019.
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